Stupidity.

Okay, it stresses me out to not know what I want to do with my life. I honestly have no idea. I don't have a choice about college. I pretty much have to go to JSU because I can't afford to go to Alabama or Freed. and I've only made a 20 on my ACT which gets me NOTHING.

 And don't get me wrong, I'm so very thankful that I can go to college to further my education, I mean in some countries, the average person can't read, much less get a college education. I am so thankful that my family can afford a college at all, but I want to go to Freed or Alabama so bad. I want to open that acceptance letter and move away and live on my own and feel free. But.. I can't. 

 Most people from Piedmont go to JSU and I wanted to be different but can't. I'm really scared about losing connections with people. I really think that scares me more than anything. It's times like this where I wish I were smarter. I really do. I hate being called stupid all the time. It's the worst feeling in the world to think that someone doesn't respect you because of the fact that you aren't as smart as them. 

I pray to God all the time about college and whether or not I'm making the right decision. I want everything to work out for the best. I just pray and hope to God that the decisions I've been making are the right ones....